It’s been a little over 6 months since coming off the road. The first 3 months were spent getting our stuff out of storage and settling into our new place, and literally detoxing from the feverish travels over 16 months and 45 states. This home has brought a lot of healing and rest for us. The boys had a very strange mix of not ever wanting to leave the house (major homebodies) and never wanting to be alone – these are symptoms I believe are directly related to being constantly on the move in 200 sq ft of space. While it has been a wonderfully slow change of pace, I have felt restless – the opportunities of things and activities to get plugged into are overwhelmingly present, but frankly, not very life-giving. So, the re-emergence of this blog will hopefully be an outlet for all that I’ve absorbed over the last 2 years and the catalyst for making something new, something meaningful.
I haven’t been bored, the boys take up most of my time, when I do get those rare moments alone, I create, I write, I read, I introspect. And it really feels like I’m about to explode. So here’s what I’ve been up to:
Two years ago something inside me just ignited when I started to explore Science again – I really think it was from homeschooling and teaching the boys that I got so excited about it myself. Since then I’ve been reading everything from the Science of color, physics, astronomy, biology, and everything in between. It’s all incredibly interesting to me. Anyone who knew my in my school days would do a double take, but this self-guided study into the workings of our world has been substantially shaping me as an artist as well. I would love to explore the intersection of art and science more and share it with you.
Through my inquiries in science, it has also caused me to inevitably look at my faith through a new lens – I no longer feel bound to cultural theology or beliefs directly related to my evangelical roots that can’t be proven by the Bible. Even the Bible has not escaped my new scrutinizing eyes, and I do believe that my faith will end up being stronger. How freeing it’s been to look at the world through the light of science and realize, God is not threatened by our findings of the mysteries of the world. In fact, for me it does the opposite – when I find something in nature that directly reveals something I already know about His character, it strengthens my belief rather than shakes it. I think I will always be a student of theology, but I’m finding there are so many other ways of getting to know Him other than through the Bible.
Oh, art. Without having blocks of time to create art I feel incomplete. Art is a direct expression of me and the beauty I wish to convey to the world. Photography, painting, words, design – it all significantly enhances my own life and I hope to do the same for others.
My life would be nothing without being able to stretch out my hands and gifts through the tangible acts of compassion. It’s so wired into my DNA that I believe I would just shrivel up without it. If I can think of the most soul-crushing things to do as a human, at the top of the list would be to life a live wrapped up in the desires and ambitions of oneself. Without the act of loving and giving, I find that everything else has very little meaning. So finding somewhere to serve was at the top of my list – somewhere I can also take the boys along, hoping that they too will learn the value in service to others.
Reading and Writing
My journals have been getting bathed in words and more words. I’m reading more than I ever have been – mostly non-fiction with a sprinkling of fiction. I can’t get enough. That’s one thing I sorely missed when we were on the road – no library access to check out books. Now! It’s just a gift. I read and then follow the breadcrumb trail of other thoughts that reading makes me think of, or another author to check out. Finding the gems, weeding out the dross – it’s like a treasure hunt for truth and beauty that I will never tire of.
We are planting roots in more ways than one – my backyard has become my healing balm and my guilty pleasure. I’m experimenting with growing a small selection of food as well – peas, rainbow chard, herbs, tomatoes. It’s my first time growing something other than flowers, and oh there is SO much to learn. The gift of having a plot of earth to till and care for isn’t easily taken for granted. It’s a lot of work but I can’t imagine anything else I’d like to take up so much of my time.
So those are some things that have been challenging me, feeding me, and richly infusing my life that could easily become mundane in the throes of motherhood. I love the journey more than the idea of any destination. I’m just following where my heart and passion leads and knowing that I won’t be led astray.
So if anyone made it this far…thank you for reading and…What have you been up to?