Wife, Mom, Artist
Categories: About Me, Kids, Motherhood | 13 comments
Seventeen months have passed since I became a mother. A big, shiny new title that’s been added to my name. I have to say that as a full-time mom it is the most challenging job I have ever had. What makes it more difficult is that I feel an equal need to still be a great wife, and not give up my passion for art and creating. So how do these roles mix? Are they even supposed to mix?
I used to compartmentalize these roles and segment them in a way that felt like structure to me. I work hard to have structure in my life, and would say to myself when the baby wakes up, “OK, now I’m a mom, do your thing” and then when the baby is asleep and it’s just me, “now I’m an artist and this is my time to work or create” or when I’m with my husband, “now I’m a wife.”
After a while, I grew tired of this way of thinking and acting because they can’t (and shouldn’t) be completely segmented. With this way of thinking, my need to create as an artist would end up getting frustrated and in turn I would wish away the time spent with my son, awaiting his next nap so I could tackle my next project.
I realized that each major role I have overlap and mesh together to form who I am right now. Now that I’ve had this enlightenment, it makes life a whole lot easier. I choose now to use my creativity to come up with meaningful, creative and fun ways to spend time together. We color, we play with play doh, we read books, we explore outside, we play music on the piano and sing (no TV!). I can say now that I am content when I’m with my son and I don’t wish I was doing anything else.
I look forward to when he gets older so we can do all kinds of projects together. I love how my friend Mandy will take drawings of creatures her kids have created and sew stuffed toys that resemble the drawings.
I love how this artist has immersed his kids in creativity and art with amazing handmade toys and art projects.
So now I no longer watch the clock and live for his next nap time. I’ve blurred the lines of artistry and motherhood just by loving my time with him and focusing on where my role as a mom and as an artist intersect. Sometimes I can start a project when he’s awake and then finish it when he’s asleep. Ultimately, his nap time becomes my focused work time. I always have a mental list of things I need to do when he sleeps and I do what I can in that time.
Creativity and motherhood are not separate entities. One does not detract from the other and there is no weighting one by shorting the other. It is not about stealing time for creativity from being a mother and vice versa. Creativity infuses motherhood, and your motherhood colors everything about your creativity.
Remember, creativity is a holistic approach to life. It is not just about that painting, sewing, writing or whatever it may be, it is about the way you look at things. It is about being open to the adventure. It is about looking for new uses for old things. It is about coming up with solutions to problems that do not seem solvable. It is about seeing beauty and meaning in the mundane. Creativity is about learning to speak what is in your heart. It is about looking for and nurturing possibility. It is about feeding your soul with what nourishes and about sharing with those around you, in effect, feeding them too. And all that? That’s what it means to raise children, too.
Comments (13)
lovely contemplation about our roles in life! happy easter-time from ireland, eliane
.-= Eliane´s last blog ..blick um’s eck | corner view =-.
Thank you Eliane! Happy Easter time to you too.
I enjoyed reading this very much. I am also a wife, artist, and mother to a 16 month old…and also going to school to study art at night. As Gavin gets older, I find that being creative with him is very joyous, even if it’s just taking my fabric scraps and looking at them together. I can’t wait for him to get older as well so we can do even more projects together and won’t have to worry about him trying to eat his crayons! I’m glad I found your blog through Ashley Ann!
This is terrific. I can already begin to see how my life is going to change DRASTICALLY this summer with the birth of my first baby, and yet, I appreciate your perspective that it doesn’t have to change completely. I’ll be picking your brain more about this topic after Baby arrives! :)
.-= Abbi´s last blog ..#86: New Year’s Eve Confetti Cupcakes =-.
This could be one of my favorite posts of yours. You sum up my journey over the past few years in such an elegant way. Too bad I can’t explain it that well…that is why I just posted a link to your words. Beautifully written and beautifully on the mark.
.-= AshleyAnn´s last blog ..SisterCousin’s (aka my niece) blog debut =-.
I LOVE this and agree with everyone above! I’m blessed to have your blog to read and think about. I’ve been trying to keep things separate and I need to bring Baby B into my creations more… and make more projects for him! He is so active that he mainly wants to run, jump, dance or be outside so I’ll need to be mindful of the time of day that would be best for projects!
I also wanted to tell you about a great book I found called “Parents Guide to Play” By Gymboree. It has specific play ideas for babies at specific ages and I LOVE it!!!
Here’s a link on amazon:
http://www.amazon.com/Gymboree-Parents-Guide-Play-Music/dp/1554072050/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1270123433&sr=1-1
.-= Lisa Ensor´s last blog ..The Warmth of Sunshine =-.
Thank you so much for this. I too was keeping everything seperate and it just wasn’t working for me. I’ve started to realize I need to mesh everything together and work on creative projects with Carter to satisfy my need to create rather than counting down the hours and minutes until nap time.
Thank you so much for that lovely note! I think almost every woman in todays society will struggle with this at some point in their lives. It’s nice to see it in writing and know that you are not alone! Happy Easter!
i LOVE this post. Thank you!
.-= joy´s last blog ..13 Weeks Prego =-.
wow. great post – thank you for sharing these thoughts on motherhood! i don’t have children yet, and go back & forth on whether or not i want to almost every day… until now i had never heard (or read) someone putting the artist/mother combination into such a lovely context. it definitely gives me a lot of food for thought.
.-= Beth H´s last blog ..Don’t Miss Shop Austin This Weekend! =-.
amazingly charistmatic
its full of love n joy n peace
lord n moma with u
:)
I really liked this. It reminds me of who God is. Thank you for sharing.
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